Channeling art during Ayahuasca.
I surrender and this comes out.
My ego cannot take credit for this it just comes when I am journeying deep.
Please Share these messages.
One Love ♥
The Cloud Riders.
Pastels & Pen on paper.
Inspired by an Ayahuasca journey.
So it’s taken me a while to paint this theme, and its just the beginning ill keep going with it for years….My experiences with the medicines have been beautiful and blissful, but during one ceremony I met Hitler trapped in a bubble which I figured out to be his Ego. As a veggie artist Hitler reminds me everything I don’t want my art to be about, I don’t want my vision to aim to capture peoples head. I want it to help people find their own way back to the heart. Nor do I want any rejection for my craft to push me on a dark path, that’s just ego shit.
During the ceremony I met Hitler I also experienced the first and second world war, I went from being a solider with bits blown of me being comforted by a nurse to the Mother saying goodbye to her son. I felt a sense of mass sacrifice as I flew over the trench fields and felt all the blood that had been offered to the ground. However far out and conspiracy it sounds, it became very clear to me the blood rituals that have dominated our culture since the rise of agriculture. I felt the madness of war as I entered Vietnam as helicopters flew over me picking the injured up. Suddenly everything turned into a giant Picasso painting.
After I met Hitler I travelled down under the earth surface to an industry gloomy landscape where I became genocide, I saw the faces of Jewish women weeping and as soon as I looked into their eyes they were free. The heads floated up to Jerusalem and paused for a moment then they floated up to the cosmos where a huge golden swirling galaxy civilization dwelled. It was shining so bright and gold and was guarded by Sumerian looking Rabbis. I realized this was a version of Zion and I just gazed in a psychedelic stare. I was speechless.
The safety and peace that I felt was unlike anything I had previously known, and then a peace treaty was made in space by cosmic Rabbis and Nordic looking priest people. Then I returned to the Maloca and the ceremony was over. I wasn’t scared during the experience I just went with the medicine and for some reason it took me there. My intention before the ceremony was healing the dwindling bond with my brothers. From doing that I picked up on how the masculine energy in my ancestry had been exposed to anger, rage and murder over the 100’s of years ‘civilization’ came to this part of the world. First with the Romans and then through the ages, I saw the years of tribal warfare has left a deep scar on the psyche of many males and I guess as my brothers are soldiers and ex football hooligans that is why the journey took me here as I picked up on the sickness that comes with a male dominated society and years of conditioning. Especially working class conditioning that aims to keep people at the bottom of the pyramid, while it fills you with fear and separation from your fellow man.
I love history, both learning about the light and the dark and the sorcery of the Third Reich has fascinated me since childhood. How a group of people could capture the consciousness of a whole people with images and words in their propaganda which often used sacred symbols that have now been ruined beyond repair.
A psychedelic experience can help people with depression, mid life crisis, addictions and so on…but a psychedelic experience can also dissolve ideologies you hold dear. It is the antidote to Babylon and that is the very reason it is illegal. The psychedelic experience allows people to let go of the bullshit they let feed from their energy. Sickness is not just psychical, its emotional and as the world seems to be on the verge of a terrorism style WW3, I think art is more important than ever at counteracting the fear that steals so many peoples creativity and power.
This is an angry indoctrinated man from the post paranoid 9/11 world (tough on the outside fear ridden on the inside) drinking Ayahuasca, the smoke of the mapacho is blowing away his sickness and as the rainbow bridge comes closer, the ego en-caged hatred is shed away and he can cross it if he dares, he can be cured. Enlightenment is for all, purge the shit don’t end up in a bubble between the cosmos trapped in your own ego hell. Mirror yourself in all, however hard, they just reflect things you need to work on.
Thank you Rak Razam.
I have had a psychedelic interlude for a few years now.
I have made a few videos talking in depth about my experiences with the plant teachers so far….more to come.
Jump into the unknown and reclaim your psychedelic thrown!
If you have read my interview with Ayahuasca post you will be familiar with my early encounters with the shamanic medicines. That was late in 2012 when I first drank Ayahuasca and San Pedro. Now the Summer solstice 2014 has just been and gone and I feel it would be a good time to go into detail about how Ayahuasca saved my life.
My initiation into adulthood was not an easy one, stepping into this alone after the loss of both my parents a few years apart from each other in my mid to late teens. I gained a degree in Archaeology after they died, but I was searching for something more. Instead of graduation I found myself in the Palestinian territories camping with a group of teenagers from different refugee camps in the beautiful desert under the stars while the kids were having farting competitions.
I wasn’t quite sure at that point why I was there. I had been coming to the region since a kid with connections to people on both sides. It was here I learned the meaning of racism as I became older during my visits. But as I stared out to the Palestinian landscape at the age of 23 I realised at this point I had nothing to offer the world, when I had something I would return to all the places that taught me valuable lessons in life.
I returned to the UK homeless and sleeping on friends sofas, it didn’t matter if I had a degree as a piece of paper seemed to get me nowhere without connections. So I was sent into a nomadic life, from place to place with the seasons working and living in hotels. Cleaning and bar work for minimum wage but a roof over my head and food in my belly. I led this lifestyle for 4 years; part of me loved the adventure side, living in such beautiful and remote places like Lapland in the Arctic Circle, the West Coast highlands in Scotland and eventually the English Lake district, where I remain to this day. Each season I would try and save money so that I could travel during the winter when the hotels close and other times during the year, like Norway for 5 months during the summer of 2011 dressed as a Viking and walking barefoot while working on a heritage project. And then Peru, a trip that changed my life during the winter of 2012.
The years of being nomadic, with no family base or people to worry about me, with nobody to answer to or tell them I loved them, with nobody to depend on but myself while dealing with the trauma of loosing the two people I loved more than anything was not easy. My mind went to many places during this time, searching in movements and ideologies to give me some meaning. I had little love for myself, and the situations I would get myself into with the opposite sex was not healthy, nor was the mass amounts of alcohol I consumed to numb the pain. The lifestyle of binge drinking and not really having anything in my life to love or to work on left a hollow space, I feel it is this space that can be exploited and filled up with other peoples shit if you are not careful. And for a few years I let other people fill it with their own shit, but with one drink of the medicine all these man made illusions and fears were washed away.
This is the thing with psychedelic experiences; they make you want to be a better person. This is the side which you will never see reported on the news, you will only see the stigma attached to people who have entheogenic hobbies. I want to explain how this process changed me for the better and help show that there is a huge difference between natural ‘drugs’ and the ones that humans edit in some negative addictive way.
I have always been creative; I could draw a simple human face before the age of 1. My room was filled with my art growing up, but after a government based education in one of Coventry’s most run down comprehensive schools, any belief I had in my creativity was pretty much taught out of me by the time I left school at 16. I never really liked school that much, I couldn’t learn that much from the style of teaching and found it frustrating how inside I knew I had intelligence but I just couldn’t find a way of getting it noticed. I had rebel phases, I would talk back to teachers, throw chairs at one of them, not attend school as often as I could and so on. My mum gave up on trying making me go to school, so as the new laws come into the UK giving heavier punishments to parents whose children have low attendance, it really has nothing to do with the parenting style, some kids just don’t like going to school, I was one of them…and I’ve turned out alright, it just doesn’t suit everybody’s way of learning and it is about time we accepted that.
After school I went to six-form College in Leamington Spa to get a diploma in graphic design. It was the first time I was surrounded by lots of arty middle class kids and I enjoyed the experience of meeting people from many different backgrounds and finally started dressing in a way that was expressing my inner style. The first day I had a Burberry hoodie on, big gold door knocker earrings, my hair in cornrows my Nikes and so on….by the time I left I was exploring a more punk inspired style as this was a culture I had always had a love for. I was slowly finding my own style in the world. I didn’t have much time for the educational side however apart from the art history classes; I did what I could but lacked effort. I had no plans of going to uni, not many people did where I was from and the course was more focused to those who were making up a portfolio to go onto further education. And I also still had issues with authority, arguing a lot with my tutor. He would find me reading ancient astronaut theory books in class and explain how wrong this theory was and however my ideas might have developed since my younger interests in all things alternative, closed mindedness is a trait I have zero tolerance for.
When the course was coming to an end my mother was diagnosed with Lung Cancer which my brother told me when I found out not many people get past this cancer so she will probably die. I had just got used to life without my dad around, and now this, my biggest fear since childhood was happening. Creativity was put on hold, I had to try and get on with life. Coming up to a year after she died was my first experience with psychedelics. It was an intense acid trip that allowed me to see two paths I could follow. Once staying in my home city and leading a life I would be unhappy with or leaving and walking the road to my dreams, however hard and long it might be, it was adventure I chose!
So after 3 years of student life, then 4 years of nomadic orphan on the road life understanding what poverty really meant, I had gained a vast depth of knowledge while experiencing all these new places and faces. I like to people watch and study strangers. I learn a lot from the characters of people especially when shaped by the environment they live. I find this fascinating. Jerusalem is my favourite spot for people watching because of how bonkers it really all is, but yet if you look hard enough you will glimpse the eyes of someone who has found peace inside in such a turbulent climate.
When I first drank ayahuasca my mind exploded with visions, thoughts, ideas and emotions. Everything I was taught from my experience with life so far was becoming my armour allowing me to expel the inner demons I was eager to let go off. When I say demon I’m not coming at it in a Christian angle, just simply the thoughts and fears that hold you back, that don’t feel like it comes from you and gets in the way of life. I had years of these fears to expel that increased with grief, and with only myself to depend on emotional sometimes my self advice was not always right.
During 2012 I sorted my diet out and my health, I’m still working on getting healthier but I radically changed my diet that had been toxic since my mum died. I took advantage of living in such a beautiful part of the English Lake District, and as often as I could would be out in the woods or up the fells writing and thinking. Sometimes I would sit for hours in places the tourist would never reach, I would be so still that deer and other animals would come very close and I would study the nature around.
I started to draw again a little, but with no belief I had anything to offer to this world creatively. My early encounters with ayahuasca were all about my art. I had very clear messages that I was an artist and my job is to spread it and the messages held inside each piece. Before I went into drink for my first ceremony I started to draw the Green Man image that I often reproduce. And that was it; I just couldn’t stop making art. This started Nov 15th 2012 and as I write this on the 22 of June 2014 there has been no slowing down with my craft. Ayahuasca unleashed my creative positional. As all my blocks were purged away I had little thoughts holding me back. It didn’t even come into my head the notion of my work not being good enough. I wasn’t thinking in patterns like that post medicine. I was just teaching myself art and trying to improve my craft like I was shown with Ayahuasca.
Like my early experiences with psychedelics, again I was faced with different paths, paths that can lead to a life I wanted or a life I feared. I followed the art path because this path had heart, this path made the most sense to me and with everything I had been through. I believe I can give back to people who might be at the beginning of a journey that will take them to their depths. I’m 27 now, but I feel I have already lived a long life due to experiences faced. Emotionally I can tune into the minds of people with different outlooks on life. Because we are no different, whether you believe you have a more superior or liberal mindse,t you are no different to the people you are against, you are simply mirrors for each other highlighting peoples inner fears that usually stem from the idea of separation, materialistic notions.
The thing with psychedelics and the shamanic experience is if you go deep, you go really deep and material things melt away. Your flesh melts away, everything you think makes you what you are is melted away into everything else. You gain an understanding that whatever this life is, it is some type of experience that only lasts for a short time so its best to learn as much as you can and…relax….its just stuff.
Thought patterns and emotions are explored as you start to understand the importance of energy, positive and negative, and you are offered a guide to leave certain mentalities behind.
I was able to walk away from negative interactions, thoughts and emotions. And yes I am female so for a week every month I am challenged by Mother Nature and the subsequent hormonal imbalance, but most of the time post Ayahuasca I am focused, more than before. I work on my art constantly, but I know how to balance it in a way the candle doesn’t go out. I keep the creative fire burning.
I was in the jungle for 5 weeks at the end of 2012 working with the medicines; then went to the USA after for 2 months as I fell in love with a guy I met in Peru. But after 2 months in Salk Lake City, I yearned to return to the nature of the old country, the ancestral lands because I still felt I had more work to do there. Eventually I and the guy went our separate ways, the love was still there but the practicality wasn’t. So from returning to the Lakes in March 2013 till my next Ayahuasca encounter I tried as hard as I could to get my art out there into the world. I didn’t and still don’t know what I’m doing, but something inside does.
I started a facebook art page when I left the jungle and uploaded all of the art I produced there onto it, and still to this day constantly upload my creativity to share with others. My art started spreading everywhere, I had a long way to go teaching myself but I had confidence people wanted to see what I had to offer.
My next medicine work was in September 2013 and not as far away as the jungle. I drank 3 nights in a row, and by the last ceremony was creating art during the medicine. It was such a magical experience watching myself draw landscapes then tripping into them as the images surrounded me and burst out of the pages. I saw ways to improve my art, gained knowledge and lessons and so on. I am very grateful for this experience and very thankful I was able to attend for free due to my terrible financial situation at this point.
The time in-between my first then second encounter I simply worked on getting my art out there, but the time after the second experience I remember another craft of mine. A lot of my visions experience this time was with language. I have always suffered due to a not so great school education with it comes to correct English, I still struggle to spell and have no idea about correct grammar. But I have always written poems with the language I did know. I like simple language that has deep connotations. My dad used to take the poetry I would write as a kid to work and print them out so I could have copies; he loved them but would often say the world isn’t that bad because most were about freeing humanity from those who rule. I remember during some of the 2nd phase ceremonies poems and rhyming lyrics were flowing out of me like a waterfall. Since this I had also been writing a lot and even practising speaking the words I spell because a part of me senses they are made for music. I am still going with this.
The main reason Ayahuasca helped me is because it allowed me to reach for my own confidence. Not an unhealthy attitude that stems from the ego, but a drive that comes from the heart. Not allowing the artist to get bogged down in negative thoughts connected to what they create, instead allowing the creativity to become part of the persons nature. The importance of creating daily for an artist, or as often as possible, is no different for your need to breathe.
Before the psychedelic experience I lacked focus, strength and determination to go forward with my art. My mind would get lost in unhealthy thought patterns, a lifestyle that favoured the legal drugs like alcohol that often leave people with addictions or depression. Post psychedelics I keep healthy both mentally and physically, I find the desire for recreational use of unhealthy things nearly eradicated from my psyche, sometimes I still like to have a munchie session. I had a glimpse of what my body needs and wants as I believe when we enter the shamanic world energy is the language not emotions.
It wasn’t easy returning to the world post psychedelic initiation. Our civilization lacks this connection the nature and the magic herbs that fill it. People who choose to have certain herbs in their life are looked down upon in society. Over the years I have noticed when I was at my unhealthiest alcohol was my drug of choice and my diet was bad and I had unbalance emotions. This seems to be the accepted state of the human spirit in western civilisation. Of course this has been written about before. As humans left being a vital part of nature and turned to dominating it with agriculture. The gods of the hunt are replaced with the gods of the harvest and gender roles become extremely unbalanced.
There’s no guide books helping the gringo transition and returning to Babylon. How can you put all the lessons you learned during the psychedelic experience into practise. I had a toxic friendship that I had to learn how to let go of, as well as my lifestyle situation. I’d experienced my own death, a place beyond this and enough love to fill the universe; I had to share it with my art, that’s what the medicine told me to do! But I couldn’t do this while I felt some of my energies were being put into situations I no longer saw were healthy.
Relationships we have should not be stressful. The people I have been meeting on this path with heart prove that. Friendship is about supporting people emotionally while not depending on them for your own happiness. And also a lack of jealously and encouraging people to follow their dreams is vital. My habit of seeing the goodness in all people in previous years left me with some situations id rather not get myself into in the first place.
Although both my parents had died and for a good few years I was walking the Earth essentially alone, I had never really faced the loneliness I felt inside. Christmas, birthdays, and so on had become very painful. I needed to face being alone inside, and as my early ceremonies with the medicine progressed I faced this fear. By the time the next phase of Ayahuasca work came around I was not fearful of being alone because with psychedelics I had grasped that nobody is really alone. Its not that there is some place up high were we meet up with deceased loved ones, it’s just a place where everything flows into a great sea, a place of light with little material but tons of energy.
My new found freedom that stemmed from fully embracing my orphan status allowed me to travel the rabbit hole like a boss. Some people are good at Karate, I’m good at psychedelics, and with every piece of art I create it is a way of me documenting the depths of these places I have visited so far.
It’s around a year and a half since my first experience. Back then I was still living in work, cleaning hotel rooms on low wages and felt trapped in this nomadic life because I lacked the financial aid or family support to set myself free. I had experienced some very dark working and living situations, but I felt a lot more at peace as soon as I first walked upon the magical ground known as the English Lake District.
I had no real preparation to look after myself when the responsibility was handed to me, so I had a lot of money issues and homeless issues over the years. I find it very interesting that since this whole ayahuasca interlude currently I find myself working full time in a beautiful Lake District art gallery. I have my own place in Grasmere one of the most beautiful villages in the world and perfect for artists and the abode of William Wordsworth. Just down the road at Dove Cottage his old home, other artists would explore their creativity with mind altering substances. Something about this place is sacred and very ancestral to me. The landscape is littered with stone circles, mountains and lakes and a lot of the native tongue comes directly from the mouths of Vikings.
It wasn’t an over night process of sorting my life out post medicine, but Ayahuasca was a huge part of me being able to find my own strength and follow my own heart and dreams.
Some people will never be convinced medicine like this is positive. But the idea that this is just another drug is I guess a racist thought, as there are many communities throughout the world that have a certain plants to aid their people in ceremonial ways, or for the same reason why people get medicine in our culture, because they are sick.
The sickness I had was emotional stemming from the deaths of my parents and not knowing how to deal with this in a culture where death is treated as a taboo and people become weirded out by even talking about the deceased person. The early psychedelic trips, especially the preparations I did for the ayahuasca, taking shrooms alone for a few times in a dark room, were not always easy but each worth it.
You cannot do these things recreational or regularly, but every so often you put yourself on a path where you will come across these natural aids. It’s like taking your mind to the gym.
My art and story shows the positive benefits of having a psychedelic experience and I think the world would be a lot more loving if this type of initiation was offered to all people. The separation people have and lack of understanding is eradicated with the medicine, you are allowed to mirror yourself in all people even if they wear an ideology you do not support. You just see it as a style they are trying on for a while, a result of searching for that meaning. It allows you to have compassion where previously you may have lacked and it helps you to be patient.
The people like me born and raised in western civilization are like children in comparison to the keeps of these shamanic traditions. We have lost a lot of knowledge already as our freedoms were gradually replaced with a peasant mentality that keeps the 1% at the top of their self made pyramid of power.
Fuck that shit.
Psychedelics show you the bullshit, show you your dreams and let you feel the strength we all have inside. They do not fix negative patterns for you, but they show you how to do this yourself.
Peace and Love.
Thanks for reading maybe I rambled 🙂
Some Poems I write.
The tower of my Babel leaves empires in cradles,
yet mature is the mind who wants to enslave humankind,
All your spells by holly wood wands,
Can never cast illusion when truth is my song,
I cannot explain this spirit in me,
But it wont rest until the day all beings are free,
My fear is gone removed with the brew,
All the cultural conditions lifted so your influence cant seep through,
I am your nightmare because egos I burn,
As my spirit incarnates Yugas do turn,
No more rape of my sacred grounds,
I’m peaceful and loving but storms I do growl,
You are my children and young you are,
Outside interference denying destiny in stars,
Remember your home that geometric place,
The sacred temples in Psychedelic space,
The language of plants speak to your core,
Visions of hidden reality is what you saw,
Children of earth re-tune to the frequency of sun,
DMT voyage dimensional evolution begun.
Emma Lucy Shaw